What do YOU think that means?
Check out my answer when I'm asked the above question during an interview that Greg and I did for a friend's film called Not That Funny. The movie explores what a girl means when she says she's looking for a man with a good sense of humor:
Saturday, May 29, 2010
The hard stuff
Last night I heard some sad news about a friend of mine. My dear sweet friend, Kelli*, is officially separated from her husband. Kelli is a strong, gentle, God-loving woman, a leader, an overcomer and a friend and caretaker of many sex industry survivors. She is funny and gorgeous and brave. She is a good mother to her 2-year-old daughter. I've been praying for her marriage for over a year when she first mentioned that she and Ben* were having troubles.
It hurts that I'm now at the age when divorce is no longer something that happens to my friends' parents, it's happening to my friends. These days I think that the pain and devastation it causes in couples/families is often overlooked because divorce is so common. But make no mistake, divorce is a Beast.
Kelli's news hit me especially hard because she has already overcome so much. An ex-dancer, she was a victim of abuse throughout her entire childhood. She knows the crushing weight of burden that comes from literally stripping naked for a living. She has known betrayal by men, both strangers and loves.
I wanted her to be "done." Surely she has experienced enough already? Can't she live happily ever after with her husband and their young daughter?
I'll never know the intimate details that contributed to this separation, but I cling to the hope that has been promised to Kelli:
She is valued...
She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
Proverbs 31:10
How precious are your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
Psalm 139:17-18
She is loved...
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
Jeremiah 31:3
Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:39
She is purposed...
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands.
Psalm 138:8
She is redeemed...
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, (s)he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17
*Names changed for privacy.
It hurts that I'm now at the age when divorce is no longer something that happens to my friends' parents, it's happening to my friends. These days I think that the pain and devastation it causes in couples/families is often overlooked because divorce is so common. But make no mistake, divorce is a Beast.
Kelli's news hit me especially hard because she has already overcome so much. An ex-dancer, she was a victim of abuse throughout her entire childhood. She knows the crushing weight of burden that comes from literally stripping naked for a living. She has known betrayal by men, both strangers and loves.
I wanted her to be "done." Surely she has experienced enough already? Can't she live happily ever after with her husband and their young daughter?
I'll never know the intimate details that contributed to this separation, but I cling to the hope that has been promised to Kelli:
She is valued...
She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
Proverbs 31:10
How precious are your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
Psalm 139:17-18
She is loved...
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
Jeremiah 31:3
Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:39
She is purposed...
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands.
Psalm 138:8
She is redeemed...
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, (s)he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17
*Names changed for privacy.
Friday, May 28, 2010
What the what--?
It's officially summer.
...And I think I accidentally made a new friend.
Awww crap, you guys-- Look at how cute this thing is.
He/she is our handyman's dog, and I can't come or go without this precious little face begging me for belly rubs. I've been petting this pup like it's going out of style-- It's so unlike me!
What. Is. Going. On.
...And I think I accidentally made a new friend.
Awww crap, you guys-- Look at how cute this thing is.
He/she is our handyman's dog, and I can't come or go without this precious little face begging me for belly rubs. I've been petting this pup like it's going out of style-- It's so unlike me!
What. Is. Going. On.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Now are the "good ol' days"
Any regular reader of this blog knows that I am a huge fan of the comedy group Rigor Tortoise which my husband is a part of. They are so talented and hard working-- and since Greg and I have been married I've had the pleasure of getting to know all the guys in the group a bit better.
I work with "talent" all the time because of my work, and it is always somewhat disappointing when a celebrity is arrogant or rude, but on the other hand it's really awesome when a celebrity actually turns out to be kind and gracious. As I've gotten to know the ragtag group of Rigor Tortoise guys better, I'm so pleased to find that I really like them all.
I was praying for these guys on my walk home yesterday (which, by the way, was as lovely as I had hoped!) and I was struck by how precious this time in Greg's life is because of these six other men in this group.
Whether Rigor Tortoise goes on to become the Beattles of comedy groups, or whether the band ultimately dissolves over the next few years as other opportunities pop up and the members of the team go their separate ways-- I know that Greg will always look back at THIS time as one of the fondest of his life.
These days in which they are just seven guys meeting on Saturday mornings in someone's living room: Cracking jokes, brainstorming, supporting one another, setting goals and not worrying about limitations-- just making it work and producing material that they're proud of. Performing at whatever venues give them stage time. Filming at friends' houses on shoestring budgets with homemade props/costumes.
The realization that we're in that wonderful season of life right now struck me as so profound. It felt like such a gift to understand that now is the time that Greg and I will hold dear to our hearts forever. Rigor Tortoise adventures will be the stories Greg tells our kids about. The other six members of the team will be like my own father's old air force buddies, always welcome guests in our home, occasional partakers around our Thanksgiving table or at our Memorial Day barbeques.
I realize that I write a lot about how thankful I am for the friendships I have with my girlfriends, but today I am thankful for a rare and extraordinary brotherhood among these very special men in my life.
Especially for the sake of my most precious man:
I work with "talent" all the time because of my work, and it is always somewhat disappointing when a celebrity is arrogant or rude, but on the other hand it's really awesome when a celebrity actually turns out to be kind and gracious. As I've gotten to know the ragtag group of Rigor Tortoise guys better, I'm so pleased to find that I really like them all.
I was praying for these guys on my walk home yesterday (which, by the way, was as lovely as I had hoped!) and I was struck by how precious this time in Greg's life is because of these six other men in this group.
Whether Rigor Tortoise goes on to become the Beattles of comedy groups, or whether the band ultimately dissolves over the next few years as other opportunities pop up and the members of the team go their separate ways-- I know that Greg will always look back at THIS time as one of the fondest of his life.
These days in which they are just seven guys meeting on Saturday mornings in someone's living room: Cracking jokes, brainstorming, supporting one another, setting goals and not worrying about limitations-- just making it work and producing material that they're proud of. Performing at whatever venues give them stage time. Filming at friends' houses on shoestring budgets with homemade props/costumes.
The realization that we're in that wonderful season of life right now struck me as so profound. It felt like such a gift to understand that now is the time that Greg and I will hold dear to our hearts forever. Rigor Tortoise adventures will be the stories Greg tells our kids about. The other six members of the team will be like my own father's old air force buddies, always welcome guests in our home, occasional partakers around our Thanksgiving table or at our Memorial Day barbeques.
I realize that I write a lot about how thankful I am for the friendships I have with my girlfriends, but today I am thankful for a rare and extraordinary brotherhood among these very special men in my life.
Especially for the sake of my most precious man:
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Nostalgic thoughts for my walk home
Update on our car situation: Greg and I are managing really well as a 1-car family. Thus far, we've only had a couple of instances that have left us in a pickle-- but we've managed to work it out in every case.
Today is one of those "pickle days" that leave me stranded without the car because Greg needed it** and won't be able to pick me up after work. I don't have any plans this evening and have nowhere to be after work, so it is the perfect day for me to walk home.
(**because he has a callback for a Bud Light commercial! Woohoo!)
I have only made this walk once before, it's a little over 3 miles and takes about an hour, but I really enjoyed it. It forced me to slow down and "smell the roses" along the streets that I normally just breeze by in my car. I can listen to music on my iphone and enjoy all the houses and businesses that I walk by.
I have a really hard time being still and doing "nothing," so it's easy for me to pack my day full of activities and distractions. There are some times when I go for days without praying and I won't even realize it until I'm laying in bed days later wondering where the week has gone. I confess that praying is not necessarily something that naturally comes easily to me-- it's something I have to make a conscience effort to do. But praying is like exercise for me: when I manage to do it regularly, it's easier, even to the point where if I skip a day it feels weird.
My church (Ecclesia) celebrated its 5 year anniversary this past Sunday, and I have been nostalgically looking back in amazement at the changes and growth that I've observed. Five years ago, I thought church was a once a week commitment that "good" people did. I was happily involved in an unhealthy relationship, nurturing poor friendships, and had a completely skewed idea of success. My involvement in the community at Ecclesia showed me for the first time that church is not a bunch of bright, shiny "good" people that I could never live up to, but rather a bunch of broken people gathering together to support one another and to serve the One who could actually save them.
I have so much more to learn, but it has been a privilege to catch undeniable glimpses of God's love for his people-- and to even begin to grasp what I somehow already knew: that even goody-goodies like me need a savior. I hope that I can be the sort of woman who can articulate that sort of grace to others in the way that I live my daily life.
I'm looking forward to my walk home today. It's lovely outside, I am full of joy and thanksgiving at God's faithfulness and his loving kindnesses.
Today is one of those "pickle days" that leave me stranded without the car because Greg needed it** and won't be able to pick me up after work. I don't have any plans this evening and have nowhere to be after work, so it is the perfect day for me to walk home.
(**because he has a callback for a Bud Light commercial! Woohoo!)
I have only made this walk once before, it's a little over 3 miles and takes about an hour, but I really enjoyed it. It forced me to slow down and "smell the roses" along the streets that I normally just breeze by in my car. I can listen to music on my iphone and enjoy all the houses and businesses that I walk by.
I have a really hard time being still and doing "nothing," so it's easy for me to pack my day full of activities and distractions. There are some times when I go for days without praying and I won't even realize it until I'm laying in bed days later wondering where the week has gone. I confess that praying is not necessarily something that naturally comes easily to me-- it's something I have to make a conscience effort to do. But praying is like exercise for me: when I manage to do it regularly, it's easier, even to the point where if I skip a day it feels weird.
My church (Ecclesia) celebrated its 5 year anniversary this past Sunday, and I have been nostalgically looking back in amazement at the changes and growth that I've observed. Five years ago, I thought church was a once a week commitment that "good" people did. I was happily involved in an unhealthy relationship, nurturing poor friendships, and had a completely skewed idea of success. My involvement in the community at Ecclesia showed me for the first time that church is not a bunch of bright, shiny "good" people that I could never live up to, but rather a bunch of broken people gathering together to support one another and to serve the One who could actually save them.
I have so much more to learn, but it has been a privilege to catch undeniable glimpses of God's love for his people-- and to even begin to grasp what I somehow already knew: that even goody-goodies like me need a savior. I hope that I can be the sort of woman who can articulate that sort of grace to others in the way that I live my daily life.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
For Nadine
Most likely, this post will only be interesting if you are my grandmother. So, Nadine, this one's for you!
My mother-in-law took some pictures of Greg's and my home while she was in town this weekend, and I'm trying to convince my grandparents that LA isn't as big, bad and scary as the LA they visited on a family vacation during the 70's. (During which they actually turned in their rental car early because the freeways were so overwhelming... but, food for thought, Nadine-- if you visited now you wouldn't have to drive at all!) Take a look, Nadine, at the quaint big city street we live on.
Here's our street:
Plenty of street parking and lots of shady trees. I really like that we have shade trees as well as palm trees on our street. (Palm trees really feel like home to me.)
A view of our courtyard from the street-- if you squint your eyes you can see the tiny yellow pinwheels that our sweet neighbors stuck in the tree trunks right through the gate.
Our apartment sweet apartment!
See!? Safe and welcoming looking, isn't it?
For the rest of you reading this who are NOT my grandmother- I'll try to post something more interesting soon. Like maybe some pictures of the inside of our apartment (but fair warning-- that won't happen until we hang stuff on our bare walls...)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Living in a pop culture hole
FYI-- Because Greg and I were not able to watch the series finale of LOST last night, we have vowed to stay away from any spoilers by avoiding any sort of media that may ruin the ending for us.
It is currently 2:57pm, and I've had two close calls:
It is currently 2:57pm, and I've had two close calls:
- When I accidentally logged onto facebook out of habit, immediately recognized my folly, and then quickly logged off before my eyes could land on anything.
- While using an online database of journalists for work, I almost read a reporter's twitter feed.
Our weekend with the mom-in-law
Karen, my mother-in-law, was our first ever house guest to stay with Greg and me. We had a wonderful weekend with her, here are some highlights:
On Saturday we took Karen to get lunch at our favorite burger joint: The Oinkster. (You may remember that a few months ago Greg and I took my parents here as well.) Look at this great mother/son photo I got of these two:
Aren't they cute?
And check out the beautiful weather we had-- Look at that blue sky!
We took Karen to Pasadena to walk around since it was so pretty out. She really wanted to wander around the Crate & Barrel store and Greg and I ended up buying some cushions for our couch (I'll post a picture soon). Our couch is even more comfy and stylish now!
Later that night, Greg's group Rigor Tortoise was performing at the LA Comedy Fest, so we met all the guys for dinner before the show. Check out these jokers in their plaid shirts at the dinner table. Heh.
Plaid lads!
At the theater
On Sunday our church celebrated its five year anniversary. It was really awesome to have Karen there for such a milestone. This church has been such a blessing in my life, and it's really amazing to look back and see some of the tangible examples of how God is moving in this city. Wonderful sermon, wonderful fellowship, and CAKE after the service! (Karen took some photos at church on her phone, but I'll have to get her to send them to us before I can post those.)
Then Sunday night we painted our nails a very chic light grey and then went to a really lovely dinner with our dear friend Michael, where we all laughed and laughed:
Fancy lady fingers
Our Michael
We had such a wonderful weekend. We feel so spoiled when we get quality time with people we love-- my week is off to a fantastic start!
Friday, May 21, 2010
We need a "first"
Greg and I are each very close with our siblings, and we're very thankful that Greg's brother and sister each found wonderful spouses that we love as well. (And when the day comes for my little bro to get married I'm sure we'll love his wife as well.)
Doug and Danae were the first to get married:
Recently Doug joked that Greg and I will be the first to house an ailing elderly parent/in-law:
Ummm....? Heh.
Here are some ideas of other ideas for firsts that Greg and I could claim instead:
- We could be the first to retire!
- We could be the first to get a time share in Hawaii!
- We could be the first to invent a secret family recipe or the first to implement a new family tradition that will live on for generations to come!
- We could be the first to win a big prize like the HGTV dream house or the lottery!
- We could be the first to grow an organic garden or go completely green (aka: "Off the grid!")
Any other suggestions of possible firsts for me and Greggers since all the obvious ones are already taken up by his more aggressive siblings?
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Nyquil hangover
I’ve been out of commission the past two days with a nasty cold. (Or allergy attack?) I’m not sure exactly what it was, but I’m feeling much better today. The only lingering symptoms are my stuffy nose and hazy medicine head. Now that my throbbing headache is gone, I think I can coast through the rest of my work day with no problems, and I’m already looking forward to my sweet, sweet bed at the end of the day.
Speaking of “sweet, sweet,” my mother-in-law is visiting for the weekend and I got to go pick her up from the airport last night while Greg finished up his shift at work. We got to have dinner together at the Veggie Grill near the airport, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite excuses to drive all the way to LAX. Delicious!
I am very blessed to have good in-laws, and I really enjoyed the quality time I got to have with Karen. We had wonderful conversations over our Baja Fiesta salads and peach iced teas. Greg and I are really looking forward to spending the weekend with her.
Here is a lovely picture of Karen with Greg and me at our wedding last year:
Speaking of “sweet, sweet,” my mother-in-law is visiting for the weekend and I got to go pick her up from the airport last night while Greg finished up his shift at work. We got to have dinner together at the Veggie Grill near the airport, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite excuses to drive all the way to LAX. Delicious!
I am very blessed to have good in-laws, and I really enjoyed the quality time I got to have with Karen. We had wonderful conversations over our Baja Fiesta salads and peach iced teas. Greg and I are really looking forward to spending the weekend with her.
Here is a lovely picture of Karen with Greg and me at our wedding last year:
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Late to work
I had to stop at 2 different drugstores this morning to get medicine for myself. (My fault! At the first store I accidentally picked up medicine for kids). I started feeling pretty crappy last night, and this morning I still had a really sore throat and a runny nose.
Thankfully, my meeting at Disney was cancelled today. I'm hoping I can coast through the day and quietly get some work done at my desk.
Sore throats are the worst!
Thankfully, my meeting at Disney was cancelled today. I'm hoping I can coast through the day and quietly get some work done at my desk.
Sore throats are the worst!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Testimony of a miraculous healing
About 5 months ago, my friends K and L drove 10 hours north to a church that had been garnering some attention for its healing ministry. (People in this particular Northern California church were feeling called to pray over the sick-- specifically cancer-- and folks were noticing miraculous results. People were being healed.) Yesterday is the first time I got to hear the whole story, including the terrifying and powerful details, of how K's cancer-ridden body was healed in the name of Jesus.
K was first diagnosed with cancer in 2003 when she noticed a mole on her leg that had changed while she was in India on a 2-month mission trip. She was 23 years old at the time, and she was told she had Stage 4 melanoma. In addition, at the same time, her mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer (and died five weeks later.)
Over the next seven years, K had countless biopsies and procedures as cancer kept aggressively attacking her body. At age 30, K was given a double mastectomy when a rare form of breast cancer showed up in her breast tissue. She shared that she's lost count, but that she thinks she has about 39 "cancer scars" all over her body, including two scars that run down the sides of her face like tear drops from melanoma that was discovered on the sides of her eyes.
Some might say it was miraculous that K was able to survive as long as she has. She had been given very low odds many times. But her "death sentence" came five months ago when her doctor called to tell her that cancer was discovered in her lymph nodes. (Also, with only 5% of breast tissue left, she was devastated to find yet another lump above her newly reconstructed breasts.) At this point, K called L to share that she had an extremely low chance of surviving the year.
It was L, a law student and longtime friend, who had been following the news of the church in Redding. With chemo and a surgery scheduled for K the following week, the girls decided to make the trip.
**I'm going to interrupt myself here to add something that L said yesterday as they shared this experience. I'm paraphrasing, but she said something along the lines of "We knew that God could heal K from LA, but we prayed that this trip would be looked at as an act of faith in the way that the leper in the Bible was lowered through the ceiling by his friends so that he could be laid at Christ's feet. Those men knew that Jesus could heal their friend from outside, but they went through the effort of getting their friend inside the very crowded room that Christ was in." I think it is important to note that K and L did not make this trip in the hopes that Redding would be a magical place that would heal them. They made the journey in faith, expecting that the church in Redding may be able to guide them through prayers of healing, but that ultimately it was still Jesus that their faith rested in.
Okay, so after something like 10 hours in the car, the girls arrived just before the service began. K said that when they entered she felt a strange sensation on her skin-- she compared it to being in a hot climate and then stepping into an overly air conditioned building. Then she heard L say: "Did you feel that? I think that's the presence of the Lord."
L grabbed K's hand and pulled her through the crowds of people in search of a place to sit. Ultimately, they came upon one empty seat which was roped off-- when L asked about the ropes she was told that that chair was reserved for someone who had cancer. L looked back at K and told her to sit down.
K told me that she sat down and began praying. She was overwhelmed by the size of the group gathered at the church, and was feeling a little crazy for making trip. As she was wondering what was next, she felt a giant wave of energy push her from behind and her whole body went rigid as all her muscles tensed at once. K began to sandwich over in her chair and was alarmed when she saw her clenched fists rise in front of her.
Turns out that soon after K sat down, the pastor of the church and his wife approached L and asked what was ailing her friend. When L explained that it was cancer, the pastor and his wife each extended a hand to touch K's back and began praying for her.
K described the experience, and shared that during some of her missionary experience someone had once told her that sometimes as you pray over someone, you might notice a physical response (i.e.: a flicker of their eyelash or something) when the Holy Spirit moves in them. That person also told K that clenched fists could be a sign of demonic oppression, so when she saw her own fists clenched and raised before her, she remembers thinking: "Oh no...!"
The pastor and his wife prayed over K in the name of Jesus, and prayed specifically against cancer, tumors, death and a drug that K's grandmother had been given to prevent miscarriages (her grandmother had been in concentration camps, and once she was free she couldn't keep a baby. Her doctor had given her a drug to prevent miscarriages, and the drug was later proven to cause cancer in offspring. K's doctors had already dismissed this drug as a contributor to her cancer, but as the pastors prayed L felt that they needed to know about it anyway.)
With each prayer, K physically responded: For example, when they prayed against cancer, her muscles tightened and her legs flailed, when they prayed against any effects of the drug that may be in her veins K slammed her arms against each other, etc. But she claims that with each demand of release that the pastors made, K felt choked and couldn't breathe. She even reached up to remove the hands wrapped around her neck and felt that there were no hands to pry off. Still she couldn't breathe and she even began turning purple at one point.
It was when she began turning purple that the pastor's wife asked L what her name was. She then got right in K's face and began lightly slapping her face and calling "K" to get her attention (her eyes were clenched shut). L said that she watched as K's eye opened to look at the pastor's wife, but she didn't recognize her friend in the expression given in that sideways glance. She didn't see K responding to her name.
The pastor's wife asked K to tell her what was ailing her and K said: "In the past year my body has produced a lot of tumoohh--s" (**Note, in recounting this story yesterday, L said that K was asked 3 times and she couldn't say the word "tumors." Strangely enough, K remembered none of this, and thought when she was asked that she was able to answer with no problem.)
After all the prayers against cancer in the name of Jesus, the pastor's wife called for peace over K's body in the name of Christ and her body went limp like a rag doll. K remembers the kind face of the pastor's wife smiling up at her as she said: "You good now?"
The worship service had already begun around them, and with L sitting next to her on the floor and K still sitting in her roped off chair, she held her Bible in front of her chest and felt for the lump she had recently discovered only to find that the lump was gone!
Later that night in their hotel, K was washing her face and she couldn't seem to get the mascara under her eyes washed away. Leaning into the mirror for a closer look, she saw that it wasn't mascara at all, but blood vessels under her eyes that had burst. Also, she noticed that around her neck were burst blood vessels as well, something that her doctor confirmed later was a result of asphyxiation.
Back in LA, K declined the chemo that she had scheduled but allowed her doctor take 11 biopsies-- and ALL came back free of cancer. (Keep in mind that she had SEVEN YEARS of bad biopsies behind her.) After years of treatments, and several cancer related deaths in her family, God healed K as miraculously and tangibly as the miracles we read about in the Bible. It goes to show that whether we are aware of it or not, there is a spiritual realm, and there is a constant battle between good and evil that is raging on all around us.
At her original diagnosis, K confessed to feeling angry at God that she, a missionary dedicated to serving Him, would be stricken with cancer. It makes sense though, that the devil would launch an attack on someone who was actively spreading the Gospel. I believe that because of K's choice to believe that GOD IS GOOD in spite of her dismal circumstances, she was able to be healed of the demonic oppression (note, I said oppression, and not possession) that was fighting to destroy her.
In sharing, K was able to explain her experience, and L was able to jump in with her perspective of what she witnessed or with moments that K couldn't remember. I have known both of these girls for several years and know that it would be extremely out of character for either of them to embellish or lie about this experience. (L is a law student for crying out loud.)
This blog has quite a sizeable post today, but to be honest, this testimony of God's awesome power is what is on my mind today. I am comforted in knowing that there is authority in the name of Jesus, and that God is still as powerful as He was in biblical times.
K was first diagnosed with cancer in 2003 when she noticed a mole on her leg that had changed while she was in India on a 2-month mission trip. She was 23 years old at the time, and she was told she had Stage 4 melanoma. In addition, at the same time, her mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer (and died five weeks later.)
Over the next seven years, K had countless biopsies and procedures as cancer kept aggressively attacking her body. At age 30, K was given a double mastectomy when a rare form of breast cancer showed up in her breast tissue. She shared that she's lost count, but that she thinks she has about 39 "cancer scars" all over her body, including two scars that run down the sides of her face like tear drops from melanoma that was discovered on the sides of her eyes.
Some might say it was miraculous that K was able to survive as long as she has. She had been given very low odds many times. But her "death sentence" came five months ago when her doctor called to tell her that cancer was discovered in her lymph nodes. (Also, with only 5% of breast tissue left, she was devastated to find yet another lump above her newly reconstructed breasts.) At this point, K called L to share that she had an extremely low chance of surviving the year.
It was L, a law student and longtime friend, who had been following the news of the church in Redding. With chemo and a surgery scheduled for K the following week, the girls decided to make the trip.
**I'm going to interrupt myself here to add something that L said yesterday as they shared this experience. I'm paraphrasing, but she said something along the lines of "We knew that God could heal K from LA, but we prayed that this trip would be looked at as an act of faith in the way that the leper in the Bible was lowered through the ceiling by his friends so that he could be laid at Christ's feet. Those men knew that Jesus could heal their friend from outside, but they went through the effort of getting their friend inside the very crowded room that Christ was in." I think it is important to note that K and L did not make this trip in the hopes that Redding would be a magical place that would heal them. They made the journey in faith, expecting that the church in Redding may be able to guide them through prayers of healing, but that ultimately it was still Jesus that their faith rested in.
Okay, so after something like 10 hours in the car, the girls arrived just before the service began. K said that when they entered she felt a strange sensation on her skin-- she compared it to being in a hot climate and then stepping into an overly air conditioned building. Then she heard L say: "Did you feel that? I think that's the presence of the Lord."
L grabbed K's hand and pulled her through the crowds of people in search of a place to sit. Ultimately, they came upon one empty seat which was roped off-- when L asked about the ropes she was told that that chair was reserved for someone who had cancer. L looked back at K and told her to sit down.
K told me that she sat down and began praying. She was overwhelmed by the size of the group gathered at the church, and was feeling a little crazy for making trip. As she was wondering what was next, she felt a giant wave of energy push her from behind and her whole body went rigid as all her muscles tensed at once. K began to sandwich over in her chair and was alarmed when she saw her clenched fists rise in front of her.
Turns out that soon after K sat down, the pastor of the church and his wife approached L and asked what was ailing her friend. When L explained that it was cancer, the pastor and his wife each extended a hand to touch K's back and began praying for her.
K described the experience, and shared that during some of her missionary experience someone had once told her that sometimes as you pray over someone, you might notice a physical response (i.e.: a flicker of their eyelash or something) when the Holy Spirit moves in them. That person also told K that clenched fists could be a sign of demonic oppression, so when she saw her own fists clenched and raised before her, she remembers thinking: "Oh no...!"
The pastor and his wife prayed over K in the name of Jesus, and prayed specifically against cancer, tumors, death and a drug that K's grandmother had been given to prevent miscarriages (her grandmother had been in concentration camps, and once she was free she couldn't keep a baby. Her doctor had given her a drug to prevent miscarriages, and the drug was later proven to cause cancer in offspring. K's doctors had already dismissed this drug as a contributor to her cancer, but as the pastors prayed L felt that they needed to know about it anyway.)
With each prayer, K physically responded: For example, when they prayed against cancer, her muscles tightened and her legs flailed, when they prayed against any effects of the drug that may be in her veins K slammed her arms against each other, etc. But she claims that with each demand of release that the pastors made, K felt choked and couldn't breathe. She even reached up to remove the hands wrapped around her neck and felt that there were no hands to pry off. Still she couldn't breathe and she even began turning purple at one point.
It was when she began turning purple that the pastor's wife asked L what her name was. She then got right in K's face and began lightly slapping her face and calling "K" to get her attention (her eyes were clenched shut). L said that she watched as K's eye opened to look at the pastor's wife, but she didn't recognize her friend in the expression given in that sideways glance. She didn't see K responding to her name.
The pastor's wife asked K to tell her what was ailing her and K said: "In the past year my body has produced a lot of tumoohh--s" (**Note, in recounting this story yesterday, L said that K was asked 3 times and she couldn't say the word "tumors." Strangely enough, K remembered none of this, and thought when she was asked that she was able to answer with no problem.)
After all the prayers against cancer in the name of Jesus, the pastor's wife called for peace over K's body in the name of Christ and her body went limp like a rag doll. K remembers the kind face of the pastor's wife smiling up at her as she said: "You good now?"
The worship service had already begun around them, and with L sitting next to her on the floor and K still sitting in her roped off chair, she held her Bible in front of her chest and felt for the lump she had recently discovered only to find that the lump was gone!
Later that night in their hotel, K was washing her face and she couldn't seem to get the mascara under her eyes washed away. Leaning into the mirror for a closer look, she saw that it wasn't mascara at all, but blood vessels under her eyes that had burst. Also, she noticed that around her neck were burst blood vessels as well, something that her doctor confirmed later was a result of asphyxiation.
Back in LA, K declined the chemo that she had scheduled but allowed her doctor take 11 biopsies-- and ALL came back free of cancer. (Keep in mind that she had SEVEN YEARS of bad biopsies behind her.) After years of treatments, and several cancer related deaths in her family, God healed K as miraculously and tangibly as the miracles we read about in the Bible. It goes to show that whether we are aware of it or not, there is a spiritual realm, and there is a constant battle between good and evil that is raging on all around us.
At her original diagnosis, K confessed to feeling angry at God that she, a missionary dedicated to serving Him, would be stricken with cancer. It makes sense though, that the devil would launch an attack on someone who was actively spreading the Gospel. I believe that because of K's choice to believe that GOD IS GOOD in spite of her dismal circumstances, she was able to be healed of the demonic oppression (note, I said oppression, and not possession) that was fighting to destroy her.
In sharing, K was able to explain her experience, and L was able to jump in with her perspective of what she witnessed or with moments that K couldn't remember. I have known both of these girls for several years and know that it would be extremely out of character for either of them to embellish or lie about this experience. (L is a law student for crying out loud.)
This blog has quite a sizeable post today, but to be honest, this testimony of God's awesome power is what is on my mind today. I am comforted in knowing that there is authority in the name of Jesus, and that God is still as powerful as He was in biblical times.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Adventure tempter
As you can probably tell from my post earlier this week about the bouldering jaunt Greg and I had last weekend, I'm feeling that familiar itch for adventure. The weather outside is nice, and I can feel myself rebelling against schedules and obligations. The tedious day-to-day stuff I have to do at the office is complete drudgery, and every time I schedule an outside meeting for anything I feel extremely protective of my free time.
It is time for a vacation! Even if just a weekend away. Even if it's the most budget friendly vacation ever. I need to have a day during which I have NOTHING scheduled, except maybe meals. I want to lounge by a pool in the warm sun with a good book or magazine. I want to get dressed up for dinner. Most importantly, I want to be away. I want to turn off my phone. I want to put distance between myself and anything that could potentially come up. I want to be far away from my ongoing to-do list around my own home, so that I can relax without feeling like I should be cleaning/organizing/etc.
Lately I have been looking up everything from day trips to overnight getaways and I've found some amazing deals. The really challenging thing for Greg and me is that I'm off on weekends and Greg works weekends, so it's hard to make things happen spur of the moment.
I think it may be a while before we can have our getaway...
It is time for a vacation! Even if just a weekend away. Even if it's the most budget friendly vacation ever. I need to have a day during which I have NOTHING scheduled, except maybe meals. I want to lounge by a pool in the warm sun with a good book or magazine. I want to get dressed up for dinner. Most importantly, I want to be away. I want to turn off my phone. I want to put distance between myself and anything that could potentially come up. I want to be far away from my ongoing to-do list around my own home, so that I can relax without feeling like I should be cleaning/organizing/etc.
Lately I have been looking up everything from day trips to overnight getaways and I've found some amazing deals. The really challenging thing for Greg and me is that I'm off on weekends and Greg works weekends, so it's hard to make things happen spur of the moment.
I think it may be a while before we can have our getaway...
...but this is what I see behind my eyelids with every. single. blink.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Going green-- I can DO this!
This is my friend Carole:
Cute, huh?
I met Carole at a commercial workshop several years ago, and then through one of those it's-a-small-world encounters I reconnected with her through a mutual friend and now we go to the same church. (Those of you readers with kiddos may recognize Carole from the Disney Channel show The Suite Life on Deck...)
A genuine Southern Belle, the talented Carole has the gift of hospitality and is one of the leaders of the women's group at our church. One of my very favorite parties I've been to out here in LA was Carole's "home cookin' party" at which she and some of her girlfriends COOKED FROM SCRATCH enough good food to feed the neighborhood and all the guests stuffed themselves like it was Thanksgiving. I was transported me back to Georgia with each bite. Powerful good. Oh my gawd those fried pickles she set out before the actual dinner...
For some time now, I've been following Carole's blog Going Green, and it's this blog that is inspiring my post today. We all want to be more green, but if you're like me, it's easy to get overwhelmed and throw your hands in the air. Carole's blog offer's simple tips on a monthly basis and serves as an easy guide to her readers. Since I've started reading, I'm more mindful of how the little things can make a difference. It's inspiring, and not too overwhelming. I really encourage all my readers to check it out.
(PS-- Many of her green tips will also save you money!)
Monday, May 10, 2010
Where oh where did this weekend go?
I can't believe it's already Monday-- this weekend FLEW by!
Saturday was a tech day for Yours, Isabel, so even though we got a lot done, it was a long exhausting day. I feel like my weekend finally started on Sunday. Greg and I went to church in the morning and then cashed in on our Groupon* purchase of a free bouldering lesson.
What is bouldering, you ask? Oh, it's indoor rock climbing, but without the ropes. Our instructor showed us techniques and moves to help us cling to the wall as we tried to climb up it using a variety of routes. It was really fun, but it was much more difficult than I thought it would be. It was a great workout too, my arms and thighs are a little bit sore today.
Saturday was a tech day for Yours, Isabel, so even though we got a lot done, it was a long exhausting day. I feel like my weekend finally started on Sunday. Greg and I went to church in the morning and then cashed in on our Groupon* purchase of a free bouldering lesson.
What is bouldering, you ask? Oh, it's indoor rock climbing, but without the ropes. Our instructor showed us techniques and moves to help us cling to the wall as we tried to climb up it using a variety of routes. It was really fun, but it was much more difficult than I thought it would be. It was a great workout too, my arms and thighs are a little bit sore today.
See how they mark different routes using colorful tape?
They had this giant "Never Never Quit" sign hanging from the ceiling. Very inspirational. Greg and I lasted 40 minutes after our lesson and then decided to go find some Gatorade.
It was really fun and it wasn't something that Greg and I normally do. It was a great day date-- and then we completed the day by going to see Iron Man 2, which was awesome. We had dinner before the movie at Wahoo's and enjoyed a really wonderful conversation about faith. I love my husband so much, and I am so thankful for all the ways that he seeks God in his life.
*For those of you who don't know, Groupon is a really cool site that I'm signed up with that emails me one awesome local deal each day. Usually the discounts are pretty killer, and cover a wide range of price points. This is the first time I've actually purchased anything off of Groupon, but after such a great experience, I'll definitely use it again in the future. Click here to see if your city has a Groupon connection.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?
Or that His timing isn't perfect? Even in the small things...
This morning I left my apartment to head to work for the day and my car wouldn't start. (Raargh!)
Strangely enough, ever since Greg's car died I've felt like I was driving around on borrowed time. Thankfully, the good people at USAA auto insurance were able to send out Roadside Assist to give me a jump and I was able to make it to an AutoZone before my car died again. Ninety minutes and one hundred bucks later, I now have a bright shiny new battery in my car and I'm back on the road! (I even managed to get my mothers day cards in the mail before 10am-- booyah!)
Because Cinco de Mayo sneaked by us this year, my office is taking the liberty of celebrating Siete de Mayo at lunch today. Carl is ordering in from Poquito Mas and he even picked up a 6 pack of cold ones so that we each get a beer with our lunch.
After this morning's auto adventures, I think it's very appropriate that this is the one day of the year I get a beer with my lunch! How's that for timing? Heh.
This morning I left my apartment to head to work for the day and my car wouldn't start. (Raargh!)
Strangely enough, ever since Greg's car died I've felt like I was driving around on borrowed time. Thankfully, the good people at USAA auto insurance were able to send out Roadside Assist to give me a jump and I was able to make it to an AutoZone before my car died again. Ninety minutes and one hundred bucks later, I now have a bright shiny new battery in my car and I'm back on the road! (I even managed to get my mothers day cards in the mail before 10am-- booyah!)
Because Cinco de Mayo sneaked by us this year, my office is taking the liberty of celebrating Siete de Mayo at lunch today. Carl is ordering in from Poquito Mas and he even picked up a 6 pack of cold ones so that we each get a beer with our lunch.
After this morning's auto adventures, I think it's very appropriate that this is the one day of the year I get a beer with my lunch! How's that for timing? Heh.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
This is what Killer B Ramblings looks like in my head

If you visit this site called Wordle you can paste your own text or website and Wordle automatically arranges words on a page. You get to pick the typeface and colors. Pretty fun.
This is my blog, Wordle-ized.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
My new obsession
Check out the new Rigor Tortoise app for the iPhone. It's free, just search "rigor" in the iTunes Store.

Yaaaaay!
Rigor Tortoise App features include:
• Vids-- Direct access to unique high quality Rigor Tortoise videos. Watch the latest sketches as they’re posted or peruse the very funny archives.
• Blog—Catch commentaries, cartoons, team updates and random thoughts on the frequently updated blog.
• Catch Phrase Generator—Never be caught without something witty to say. The official Rigor Tortoise Catch Phrase Generator lavishly supplies wise adages such as “That’s so bacon.” and “Not lava! Anything but lava!”
• More—All the information you could want regarding the comings and goings of Rigor Tortoise:
o Rigor Calendar lists dates and locations of upcoming live performances.
o Rigor Pics takes users to the flickr photostream allowing fans a glimpse behind the scenes with on set photos as well as candid moments from past live performances.
o Rigor Facebook solidifies friendships the way that only facebook can…
o Rigor Twitter for moment to moment updates.
o Rigor Mail allows on the go folks to email the team directly sans computer.
Rigor Tortoise App features include:
• Vids-- Direct access to unique high quality Rigor Tortoise videos. Watch the latest sketches as they’re posted or peruse the very funny archives.
• Blog—Catch commentaries, cartoons, team updates and random thoughts on the frequently updated blog.
• Catch Phrase Generator—Never be caught without something witty to say. The official Rigor Tortoise Catch Phrase Generator lavishly supplies wise adages such as “That’s so bacon.” and “Not lava! Anything but lava!”
• More—All the information you could want regarding the comings and goings of Rigor Tortoise:
o Rigor Calendar lists dates and locations of upcoming live performances.
o Rigor Pics takes users to the flickr photostream allowing fans a glimpse behind the scenes with on set photos as well as candid moments from past live performances.
o Rigor Facebook solidifies friendships the way that only facebook can…
o Rigor Twitter for moment to moment updates.
o Rigor Mail allows on the go folks to email the team directly sans computer.

Monday, May 3, 2010
Hey Wow!
Sweet little Charlotte from The Daily Snapshot gave me an Honest Scrap award, which means that she likes my blog (aww!)
As a recipient of the Honest Scrap I'm supposed to share some honest things about myself and then pass the award forward.
Okay, here it goes:
Honest thing #1: I am having a difficult time walking today because of an exercise class I took on Saturday morning. I was pretty proud of myself for sticking with it and completing the class, but I am left crippled and literally have to lift my legs with my arms to step in and out of my car.
Honest thing #2: I enjoy the act of going out to get coffee almost more than I enjoy the coffee itself.
Honest thing #3: It really throws me for a loop when I run into people that I know outside of the environment that I know them in. Like when kids flip out when they see their teachers at the supermarket. (For example, if I run into someone from church at a comedy club. Or when I see someone from high school here in California. Crazy!)
Honest thing #4: I am thirsty right now, but I'm going to wait to get water until my coworker leaves the room so that she doesn't see my hobble around on my stiff and aching legs.
Honest thing #5: My go-to feel-good movie that I can watch over and over is Just Friends, starring Ana Faris and Ryan Reynolds.
I'm passing the award to:
Danae from D.E.C. + D.R.C.
Laura from Pearls & Picket Fences
Dianna from Capturing Some of the Random
Ladies, if you'd like to play along, just post some honest tidbits about yourself and forward the award to some of your favorite blogs as well. (Don't feel obligated if this isn't your thing, just take it as a compliment that I love to read your thoughts!)
As a recipient of the Honest Scrap I'm supposed to share some honest things about myself and then pass the award forward.
Okay, here it goes:
Honest thing #1: I am having a difficult time walking today because of an exercise class I took on Saturday morning. I was pretty proud of myself for sticking with it and completing the class, but I am left crippled and literally have to lift my legs with my arms to step in and out of my car.
Honest thing #2: I enjoy the act of going out to get coffee almost more than I enjoy the coffee itself.
Honest thing #3: It really throws me for a loop when I run into people that I know outside of the environment that I know them in. Like when kids flip out when they see their teachers at the supermarket. (For example, if I run into someone from church at a comedy club. Or when I see someone from high school here in California. Crazy!)
Honest thing #4: I am thirsty right now, but I'm going to wait to get water until my coworker leaves the room so that she doesn't see my hobble around on my stiff and aching legs.
Honest thing #5: My go-to feel-good movie that I can watch over and over is Just Friends, starring Ana Faris and Ryan Reynolds.
I'm passing the award to:
Danae from D.E.C. + D.R.C.
Laura from Pearls & Picket Fences
Dianna from Capturing Some of the Random
Ladies, if you'd like to play along, just post some honest tidbits about yourself and forward the award to some of your favorite blogs as well. (Don't feel obligated if this isn't your thing, just take it as a compliment that I love to read your thoughts!)
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