After many of my girlfriends swore by a body pillow for a good night's sleep during the 3rd trimester of pregnancy, I finally buckled and bought one last weekend from Bed Bath & Beyond (gotta love those coupons they hound me with).
Let me just say, I don't know what sort of black magic they stuff these things with, but it is AMAZING how much more comfortable I am through the night!
I had been hugging a normal sized pillow for much of my pregnancy, but by around 4 or 5am the pain in my hips and tail bone were so excruciating that I would spend the next couple hours tossing and turning in bed and debating whether or not I should stick it out and try to rest more, or just get up and start my day right then.
Anyway, I'm not sure what it is about a body pillow that takes so much pressure off my body, but who am I to question the science of it. All I know is that it works. If you are preggers, or thinking about getting preggers, please take this blog post as a product endorsement in a major way.
I am one happy, well-rested little Beth this week.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
How to Rule the World
This Sunday's sermon has been stewing in my brain the past few days. In a nutshell, our pastor (Joseph) talked about positional authority vs. leading by serving. (Podcast of full sermon here)
I think one of the reasons why the message preached this weekend is sitting so heavily on my mind is because, frankly, I'm good at positional authority.
I can do titles, brownie points, corporate ladders, and impressive resumes...
I get all that. I understand it. I can play that game and play it well until I get somewhere with it.
But Jesus doesn't ask that of me. He isn't impressed by awards or job titles, and he doesn't care about me being the top of any totem pole.
While this call to humbleness and servanthood in leadership definitely resonates as truth when I look at the Jesus I know, I still struggle (big time) with applying his instructions on this particular subject to my daily life.
Because at my worldly job, I'm expected to deliver -- and yet from an eternal perspective, I might as well be a hamster in a wheel. (Right?) I don't think that Jesus wants me to be a slacker at work, but I do think that he wants me to keep that eternal perspective as I'm working.
That's what I struggle with.
Greg and I were talking recently about how it's common that the "squeaky wheel" is often the one to receive special treatment or even bonuses. Well... I can be a great squeaky wheel. Heck, I can be the most polite and respectfully persistent squeaky wheel that anyone has ever heard, and I can squeak in such a way that you'd swear I was singing instead!
But that's not what I'm called to be. Instead, Jesus asks me to be a servant. To do my job as if I weren't being paid for it, and to serve all (not just the people I like) in the process.
Why can that simple instruction be so challenging at times?
In Matthew 5:41, Jesus says that if a Roman soldier orders you to carry his gear for him for one mile (which they could do -- isn't that crazy?), you are to continue to carry his gear for a second mile.
This illustration blows my mind, first of all because I cannot imagine a world in which I could be going about my day and then ordered to drop everything to do someone else's manual labor... but also because when I picture this scenario, it really is mind blowing to turn the tables on the authority figure and show them love and compassion.
Immediately my mind is flooded with the "Roman soldiers" in my life, and how very good I can be at handling them so that I can get back to business and get on with my day. But Jesus is calling me to love on them instead, to show them compassion while they humiliate me... and that's pretty tough.
But it's pretty beautiful too, isn't it?
Dear Lord, please help me to follow through. Be my strength and my inspiration as I struggle to remove myself from the line of competitors fighting to be first, and humbly accept my place as last.
I think one of the reasons why the message preached this weekend is sitting so heavily on my mind is because, frankly, I'm good at positional authority.
I can do titles, brownie points, corporate ladders, and impressive resumes...
I get all that. I understand it. I can play that game and play it well until I get somewhere with it.
But Jesus doesn't ask that of me. He isn't impressed by awards or job titles, and he doesn't care about me being the top of any totem pole.
While this call to humbleness and servanthood in leadership definitely resonates as truth when I look at the Jesus I know, I still struggle (big time) with applying his instructions on this particular subject to my daily life.
Because at my worldly job, I'm expected to deliver -- and yet from an eternal perspective, I might as well be a hamster in a wheel. (Right?) I don't think that Jesus wants me to be a slacker at work, but I do think that he wants me to keep that eternal perspective as I'm working.
That's what I struggle with.
Greg and I were talking recently about how it's common that the "squeaky wheel" is often the one to receive special treatment or even bonuses. Well... I can be a great squeaky wheel. Heck, I can be the most polite and respectfully persistent squeaky wheel that anyone has ever heard, and I can squeak in such a way that you'd swear I was singing instead!
But that's not what I'm called to be. Instead, Jesus asks me to be a servant. To do my job as if I weren't being paid for it, and to serve all (not just the people I like) in the process.
Why can that simple instruction be so challenging at times?
In Matthew 5:41, Jesus says that if a Roman soldier orders you to carry his gear for him for one mile (which they could do -- isn't that crazy?), you are to continue to carry his gear for a second mile.
This illustration blows my mind, first of all because I cannot imagine a world in which I could be going about my day and then ordered to drop everything to do someone else's manual labor... but also because when I picture this scenario, it really is mind blowing to turn the tables on the authority figure and show them love and compassion.
Immediately my mind is flooded with the "Roman soldiers" in my life, and how very good I can be at handling them so that I can get back to business and get on with my day. But Jesus is calling me to love on them instead, to show them compassion while they humiliate me... and that's pretty tough.
But it's pretty beautiful too, isn't it?
Dear Lord, please help me to follow through. Be my strength and my inspiration as I struggle to remove myself from the line of competitors fighting to be first, and humbly accept my place as last.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Updates
First of all, I have to tell you that Greg took me to the yummiest place for dinner on Friday when he whisked me away on a surprise date night. I can't remember the name of it, but it was a great Italian place that is actually owned by the same person who owns The Oinkster (one of our favorite burger joints that I've written about several times).
This weekend I also got to visit with my former roomie, who happens to be due TOMORROW with her first child, also a little boy. And when I swung by for a visit, who should also happen to be there visiting but our friend Kat, who just announced her own pregnancy! It was really lovely to get to see these two ladies and talk about mommy things with each of them.
It was a wonderful weekend, and I also went to a musical with some girlfriends on Saturday night which was really fun. I was the token pregnant woman in that bunch, but these girls are always so sweet to me and they let me ride shotgun each way. They also made sure that I got some chipoltle in my stomach before the show began because we hadn't had dinner yet. Mmmmm.... chipoltle....
A fantastic weekend indeed -- I love that it was full of friends, my wonderful husband, nesting time in my apartment and fun activities that took me outside.
The real adventure waited until Monday morning. I called my OB's office because I was having some sharp pains -- I wasn't really concerned, but I sort of wanted a professional to confirm it by saying "Oh yeah, that's normal, you're fine!" Instead I was told to go to the hospital.
The nutshell version is that I had a small infection, which is easily treated and which I'm taking antibiotics for now. However, the infection was making me have contractions every 2 minutes. (Which I couldn't even feel - how weird/scary is that!) So I spent the day in the hospital, which is not at all what I expected as I drove to my office that morning.
The good news is that the wonderful team of nurses took excellent care of me and squashed any chances of pre-term labor that my body was gearing up for. I just have to be extra careful the next two weeks while my body heals itself of this infection, then I should be in the clear and have no problems carrying this boy to full term.
The funny thing was, I was never worried all day yesterday, even as I sat there in the hospital with an iv dripping into my arm. God is so good, and I felt such an extreme peace about the care that I was being given, that I really didn't freak out. I'm back at the office today, and feeling fine. Oh, and if you think this baby was phased a bit by mommy's hospital visit -- think again! He was swimming and kicking as happily as ever, so that too is great news.
The best part of the day yesterday was getting to listen to his little heartbeat all day since they were monitoring me. Also, once we learned that I was going to be there for a while, Greg came to sit with me and he read to me, which is probably one of the most soothing things to me in the world. Who would have thought that a trip to the hospital could be... kind of... nice?
This weekend I also got to visit with my former roomie, who happens to be due TOMORROW with her first child, also a little boy. And when I swung by for a visit, who should also happen to be there visiting but our friend Kat, who just announced her own pregnancy! It was really lovely to get to see these two ladies and talk about mommy things with each of them.
Me & Joanie
Kat (1st trimester), Me (2nd trimester), and Joanie (3rd trimester)
It was a wonderful weekend, and I also went to a musical with some girlfriends on Saturday night which was really fun. I was the token pregnant woman in that bunch, but these girls are always so sweet to me and they let me ride shotgun each way. They also made sure that I got some chipoltle in my stomach before the show began because we hadn't had dinner yet. Mmmmm.... chipoltle....
A fantastic weekend indeed -- I love that it was full of friends, my wonderful husband, nesting time in my apartment and fun activities that took me outside.
Our baby boy bumps
*****
The real adventure waited until Monday morning. I called my OB's office because I was having some sharp pains -- I wasn't really concerned, but I sort of wanted a professional to confirm it by saying "Oh yeah, that's normal, you're fine!" Instead I was told to go to the hospital.
The nutshell version is that I had a small infection, which is easily treated and which I'm taking antibiotics for now. However, the infection was making me have contractions every 2 minutes. (Which I couldn't even feel - how weird/scary is that!) So I spent the day in the hospital, which is not at all what I expected as I drove to my office that morning.
The good news is that the wonderful team of nurses took excellent care of me and squashed any chances of pre-term labor that my body was gearing up for. I just have to be extra careful the next two weeks while my body heals itself of this infection, then I should be in the clear and have no problems carrying this boy to full term.
The funny thing was, I was never worried all day yesterday, even as I sat there in the hospital with an iv dripping into my arm. God is so good, and I felt such an extreme peace about the care that I was being given, that I really didn't freak out. I'm back at the office today, and feeling fine. Oh, and if you think this baby was phased a bit by mommy's hospital visit -- think again! He was swimming and kicking as happily as ever, so that too is great news.
The best part of the day yesterday was getting to listen to his little heartbeat all day since they were monitoring me. Also, once we learned that I was going to be there for a while, Greg came to sit with me and he read to me, which is probably one of the most soothing things to me in the world. Who would have thought that a trip to the hospital could be... kind of... nice?
Friday, March 23, 2012
Date night!
Well, well, well -- this is a happy Friday indeed!
I just received the following email from my husband:
My Beth,
We have a dinner reservation for 2 at 6pm so don't make any plans.
I'm taking you on a date.
gdc
Yaaaaaaaaay!!!
I am a lucky girl indeed to have a husband that still woo's me with surprise date nights from time to time. I'm so excited to spend the evening with Greg!
Squeeeaaaalll!!! :)
I just received the following email from my husband:
My Beth,
We have a dinner reservation for 2 at 6pm so don't make any plans.
I'm taking you on a date.
gdc
Yaaaaaaaaay!!!
I am a lucky girl indeed to have a husband that still woo's me with surprise date nights from time to time. I'm so excited to spend the evening with Greg!
Squeeeaaaalll!!! :)
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Heavenly book club fail
I love book clubs. I'm horrible at them though because despite my best intentions, I never read the books.
Still, I enjoy the fellowship of getting together with a bunch of ladies to talk and snack while having a group discussion -- even if I'm just listening.
Last night I attended a book club that was discussing the book called Heaven is for Real -- which I didn't read -- BUT I brought snacks so I did contribute something to the evening!
The discussion that followed, well, it sort of made me want to read the book! But aside from that, it definitely got me thinking about what Heaven might be like. I'm not sure that I've really given it much thought before, which might be a sad thing to admit.
I confess that even though I know Heaven won't be anything like a Bugs Bunny cartoon, part of me envisions the fluffy clouds, white robes and golden harps (as opposed to the red devils with pointy tails and pitchforks) that I grew up with. The problem with that picture is that I really wouldn't care to live in that Heaven. Sounds sort of boring to just sit around in the sky all day.
Probably one of my favorite envisionings of what Heaven might be like is from The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis (a book I DID read!) In this allegorical journey, Lewis detailed an experience in Heaven that was truly enticing.
Last Christmas, Greg and I got to visit my family in Florida at the retirement community my grandparents live in. This place has everything: swimming pools, billiard rooms, activity leagues for everything from cards to bowling, golf courses, craft classes, town squares filled with nightly activities... the list goes on. It's truly an amazing place to visit, and my grandparents are really happy living there.
I only mention it because in January, when Greg and I buckled down and set up retirement accounts for ourselves, we had a bit of incentive motivating us because we were picturing what our version of retirement might look like. It made setting up IRA accounts less of an obligation, and more of something we genuinely wanted to invest in so that we too could have something like Florida to look forward to.
This may be a flimsy analogy, but I sort of feel the same way about Heaven after last night's book club discussion. I'm pretty sure that I'll never be able to guess what Heaven could possibly be like until I actually get there, but it's sort of inspiring to wonder about, isn't it?
In an "eyes on the prize" exciting sort of way?
What do YOU think Heaven might be like?
Still, I enjoy the fellowship of getting together with a bunch of ladies to talk and snack while having a group discussion -- even if I'm just listening.
Last night I attended a book club that was discussing the book called Heaven is for Real -- which I didn't read -- BUT I brought snacks so I did contribute something to the evening!
The discussion that followed, well, it sort of made me want to read the book! But aside from that, it definitely got me thinking about what Heaven might be like. I'm not sure that I've really given it much thought before, which might be a sad thing to admit.
I confess that even though I know Heaven won't be anything like a Bugs Bunny cartoon, part of me envisions the fluffy clouds, white robes and golden harps (as opposed to the red devils with pointy tails and pitchforks) that I grew up with. The problem with that picture is that I really wouldn't care to live in that Heaven. Sounds sort of boring to just sit around in the sky all day.
Probably one of my favorite envisionings of what Heaven might be like is from The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis (a book I DID read!) In this allegorical journey, Lewis detailed an experience in Heaven that was truly enticing.
Last Christmas, Greg and I got to visit my family in Florida at the retirement community my grandparents live in. This place has everything: swimming pools, billiard rooms, activity leagues for everything from cards to bowling, golf courses, craft classes, town squares filled with nightly activities... the list goes on. It's truly an amazing place to visit, and my grandparents are really happy living there.
I only mention it because in January, when Greg and I buckled down and set up retirement accounts for ourselves, we had a bit of incentive motivating us because we were picturing what our version of retirement might look like. It made setting up IRA accounts less of an obligation, and more of something we genuinely wanted to invest in so that we too could have something like Florida to look forward to.
This may be a flimsy analogy, but I sort of feel the same way about Heaven after last night's book club discussion. I'm pretty sure that I'll never be able to guess what Heaven could possibly be like until I actually get there, but it's sort of inspiring to wonder about, isn't it?
In an "eyes on the prize" exciting sort of way?
What do YOU think Heaven might be like?
Rigor vid
Well the latest Rigor Tortoise video that I mentioned I had a brief cameo in is live today!
You can take a look right here to watch on their You Tube page, or click play on the embedded video below:
That's Greg playing the Channel 53 spokesman, isn't he handsome? He was the one that wrote this sketch as well (I'm so proud of him!)
Thanks for watching :)
You can take a look right here to watch on their You Tube page, or click play on the embedded video below:
That's Greg playing the Channel 53 spokesman, isn't he handsome? He was the one that wrote this sketch as well (I'm so proud of him!)
Thanks for watching :)
Monday, March 19, 2012
No green was necessary
This may go down in history as one of the more perfect weekends I've ever had. It's true that I'm 6 months pregnant, and one might assume that my bump may have cramped my style on St. Patrick's Day, but I gotta tell you -- I barely even noticed!
Let me start at the very top of the weekend though: Friday I got off work a little early (yeeesssssss!!) so Greg and I decided that we'd go grab dinner before the dinner rush (it's the little things like this that make me so happy) and then wander around IKEA. Not only was it a lovely dinner full of rich conversation about what courage looks like, but we found the perfect changing table for our space at IKEA and brought it home. Our first major baby purchase.
It was great just to wander the aisles at IKEA, dreaming up inspirations for our home as we took our time meandering through the different show rooms. It was the perfect low key evening for maximum quality time with Greg, but it also fed my nesting cravings and left me feeling inspired.
Saturday was the unexpected gem of my perfect weekend! Turns out, neither Greg nor I had any place to be all day long... which NEVER happens. Also: it was pouring rain all morning, which in itself is a very rare occurrence in Los Angeles.
The odds of having a rainy day with no commitments all day were too perfect. I can't remember the last time I had a legit snow day, but at around 10am when we realized that not only were we still in our pajamas, but also had no intentions of getting out of them any time soon, we decided to declare it an official "snow day" and we holed ourselves up for the long haul, burrowing deeper under our covers for some more stolen winks until hunger eventually drove us out of bed.
Once our stomachs began growling Greg joked: "How can we get someone to bring us food?" and then he braved the storm to bring us piping hot starbucks and a slice of banana bread to share. My hero!
(Also: "Thanks, Mom!" My mom sent us a "Starbucks date" in the St. Patricks day card she sent us. She's really thoughtful like that.)
The rest of Saturday was much of the same, we put no pressure on ourselves to do anything other than rest and hang out. I don't think I looked at the clock once. We eventually took showers and did small household chores like throwing in a load or two of laundry, but we also watched "Wedding Crashers" while we re-organized our office/art supplies (all part of Operation Make Room for Baby) and ordered pizza for dinner.
It was sometime after dinner that I actually remembered that it was St. Patrick's Day at all - I completely forgot to wear green! But I'd say we more than celebrated the day in our own way.
Our evening wrapped up in an awesome conversation about our identities, and by the time I started getting sleepy it felt just right to climb back under those warm covers again. Greg decided to read in bed for a bit, but I snuggled up against him and fell right to sleep. Apparently the baby knows when Greg is around these days, because he's been kicking a lot more at night time and especially when he can hear Greg's voice. I like to share those happy little kicks with Greg.
Sunday morning felt like an extension of Saturday. Church was cancelled in the morning due to the LA marathon (which annually shuts down Hollywood Blvd, we wouldn't have been able to get anywhere near our church building if there had been a service), so we had another lazy morning and I decided to make pancakes from scratch. Impressed? (I was too.) They turned out pretty good if I do say so myself!
After breakfast I cleaned the bathroom and took a shower while Greg worked on the computer a bit. Then at a little after 1pm I headed into Hollywood to see a production of "Long Days Journey Into Night" at the Actors Co-op while Greg went to work.
Overall, it really felt like more of a "staycation" than a typical weekend.
Today I feel recharged and rested.
It's getting real in here, folks.
Let me start at the very top of the weekend though: Friday I got off work a little early (yeeesssssss!!) so Greg and I decided that we'd go grab dinner before the dinner rush (it's the little things like this that make me so happy) and then wander around IKEA. Not only was it a lovely dinner full of rich conversation about what courage looks like, but we found the perfect changing table for our space at IKEA and brought it home. Our first major baby purchase.
Introducing the Sniglar changing station!
The perfect changing table for the little nook in our apartment that is to be our changing area.
It was great just to wander the aisles at IKEA, dreaming up inspirations for our home as we took our time meandering through the different show rooms. It was the perfect low key evening for maximum quality time with Greg, but it also fed my nesting cravings and left me feeling inspired.
Saturday was the unexpected gem of my perfect weekend! Turns out, neither Greg nor I had any place to be all day long... which NEVER happens. Also: it was pouring rain all morning, which in itself is a very rare occurrence in Los Angeles.
The odds of having a rainy day with no commitments all day were too perfect. I can't remember the last time I had a legit snow day, but at around 10am when we realized that not only were we still in our pajamas, but also had no intentions of getting out of them any time soon, we decided to declare it an official "snow day" and we holed ourselves up for the long haul, burrowing deeper under our covers for some more stolen winks until hunger eventually drove us out of bed.
Once our stomachs began growling Greg joked: "How can we get someone to bring us food?" and then he braved the storm to bring us piping hot starbucks and a slice of banana bread to share. My hero!
(Also: "Thanks, Mom!" My mom sent us a "Starbucks date" in the St. Patricks day card she sent us. She's really thoughtful like that.)
The rest of Saturday was much of the same, we put no pressure on ourselves to do anything other than rest and hang out. I don't think I looked at the clock once. We eventually took showers and did small household chores like throwing in a load or two of laundry, but we also watched "Wedding Crashers" while we re-organized our office/art supplies (all part of Operation Make Room for Baby) and ordered pizza for dinner.
It was sometime after dinner that I actually remembered that it was St. Patrick's Day at all - I completely forgot to wear green! But I'd say we more than celebrated the day in our own way.
Our evening wrapped up in an awesome conversation about our identities, and by the time I started getting sleepy it felt just right to climb back under those warm covers again. Greg decided to read in bed for a bit, but I snuggled up against him and fell right to sleep. Apparently the baby knows when Greg is around these days, because he's been kicking a lot more at night time and especially when he can hear Greg's voice. I like to share those happy little kicks with Greg.
Sunday morning felt like an extension of Saturday. Church was cancelled in the morning due to the LA marathon (which annually shuts down Hollywood Blvd, we wouldn't have been able to get anywhere near our church building if there had been a service), so we had another lazy morning and I decided to make pancakes from scratch. Impressed? (I was too.) They turned out pretty good if I do say so myself!
After breakfast I cleaned the bathroom and took a shower while Greg worked on the computer a bit. Then at a little after 1pm I headed into Hollywood to see a production of "Long Days Journey Into Night" at the Actors Co-op while Greg went to work.
Overall, it really felt like more of a "staycation" than a typical weekend.
Today I feel recharged and rested.
As of today, I'm officially rockin' 26 weeks worth of bump!
It's getting real in here, folks.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Spin Cycle
I don't really have much to say today, but I did want to check in since I left yesterday on such a cranky note. (Thanks everyone for your sweet encouragement in the comments section as I fought to get over my funk!)
I got some good quality time with a girlfriend last night, and good conversation seems to be a balm for my soul when it's feeling weary and blistered. We ate delicious homemade pizza and discussed things that are dear to both of us: friends, church, art in our lives... it was a great evening.
Once Karla went home, I got some quality time with Greg as well. I made* him a chocolate chip cookie with a molten chocolate center and then stole bites off his plate while we both guzzled down giant glasses of cold milk. I listened as he told me about his day, which was very eventful because he filmed two videos yesterday after working his day job as well. It was really nice.
*and by "made" I mean heated the frozen TJ's cookie dessert in the microwave for 70 seconds...
By the time we polished off that cookie and crawled under the covers for some shut eye, my funk was but a memory. It was pretty nice to feel so peaceful after days of being agitated for no reason, and I slept soundly throughout the night (with the exception of those two trips to the bathroom!)
I know that God takes care of me, and that he is so faithful. I want to learn how to cling to that knowledge when I'm in those seasons of frustrations so that I don't shut down. After all, it's during the storms of life that we're called to take a stand among all the trembling, frightened sailors and declare that "I have faith in the Lord that it will happen just as he said it would." (Quote paraphrased from the Jan. 4th entry in my devotional book Streams in the Desert)
Last night Karla mentioned a woman we both admire who is currently directing an indie feature film and still working a full time job as well. An amazing woman of faith, this particular lady always carries herself with SUCH grace and peace, regardless of the obstacles that cross her path. She seems to carry her own breeze about her when everyone else is sweating the small stuff. I hope to be more like that in the future when I'm tempted to have a meltdown.
In closing, something that brought a smile to my face yesterday was walking by an old haunt on my lunch break:
I got some good quality time with a girlfriend last night, and good conversation seems to be a balm for my soul when it's feeling weary and blistered. We ate delicious homemade pizza and discussed things that are dear to both of us: friends, church, art in our lives... it was a great evening.
Once Karla went home, I got some quality time with Greg as well. I made* him a chocolate chip cookie with a molten chocolate center and then stole bites off his plate while we both guzzled down giant glasses of cold milk. I listened as he told me about his day, which was very eventful because he filmed two videos yesterday after working his day job as well. It was really nice.
*and by "made" I mean heated the frozen TJ's cookie dessert in the microwave for 70 seconds...
By the time we polished off that cookie and crawled under the covers for some shut eye, my funk was but a memory. It was pretty nice to feel so peaceful after days of being agitated for no reason, and I slept soundly throughout the night (with the exception of those two trips to the bathroom!)
I know that God takes care of me, and that he is so faithful. I want to learn how to cling to that knowledge when I'm in those seasons of frustrations so that I don't shut down. After all, it's during the storms of life that we're called to take a stand among all the trembling, frightened sailors and declare that "I have faith in the Lord that it will happen just as he said it would." (Quote paraphrased from the Jan. 4th entry in my devotional book Streams in the Desert)
Last night Karla mentioned a woman we both admire who is currently directing an indie feature film and still working a full time job as well. An amazing woman of faith, this particular lady always carries herself with SUCH grace and peace, regardless of the obstacles that cross her path. She seems to carry her own breeze about her when everyone else is sweating the small stuff. I hope to be more like that in the future when I'm tempted to have a meltdown.
In closing, something that brought a smile to my face yesterday was walking by an old haunt on my lunch break:
Greg and I -- before we were Greg&I -- used to do our laundry together at this very laundromat.
We would toss our dirty laundry into the washers and then walk next door to get sandwiches at the Subway to kill time until it was time to throw everything in the dryers. It's a fond memory, because laundry was never a pain to do when I had Greg's company and attention.
No, washing machine, I'M sorry! You were just doing your job! Heh.
It was funny to peek in on our old place where dirty laundry was aired (metaphorically and physically!) and know that 26-year-old Beth would have flipped out to hear that only a few years later, 30-year-old Beth would be reminiscing on those salad days with Greg's son growing in her belly.
How far we've come!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Running on empty
Today I am cranky. That funk that I was in at the end of the week has returned with a vengeance and I just can't seem to shake it.
I feel... needy.
(Shudder)
I HATE feeling needy.
Lately, I'm frustrated that my husband can't read my mind, and then doubly frustrated that I don't know how to articulate my needs to him. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones (another thing that I hate to admit) but by the end of the day I am completely spent and completely sore.
There is a countdown that is steadily ticking down until June, and that countdown affects Greg and me both in very powerful ways, but in very different ways.
Once this baby is in the world, our lives are going to change, and I'm eager to prepare for motherhood by nesting. I can't seem to get the apartment quite get clean enough or organized enough for my taste and it's frustrating that I can't get ahead of the mess. Plus, I'm eager to purge to make room for our new little one, yet purging takes time, and meanwhile all my eyes see are the piles of clutter that I'm so tired of looking at.
Greg on the other hand, is working extra hard lately outside our home at his many jobs/gigs as he prepares to provide for our family in new ways once we become a family of three. He's made such progress in his chosen career path, all while still juggling a customer service job on the side (something we all know can wear on one's very soul depending on the kinds of people that come in on any given day).
At times it feels like we're holding our breath as we wait to see what God has for him next. Seems like stepping out in faith requires a tightrope with no net. I'm so proud of Greg for putting himself out there -- meanwhile, it's been difficult for me to realize that my arms don't reach high enough to help Greg across myself. I too have to surrender that intense walk to God as I am reserved to call up encouragement from my place on the ground and simply trust. Silently standing by as we manage our hopes and expectations with each shaky step.
I'm trying to be mindful of all those changes we're both facing mentally/emotionally, while also coping with my ever evolving physical state and the unique discomforts and aches that the evening tends to bring.
A huge failing of mine appears to be that I can't quite bring enough patience, understanding, or sensitivity to the table when I'm lost in one of these funks. I want so much to be a good helper, but I feel like I'm on an endless treadmill and though my efforts are exhaustive I still can't get ahead the way I want to.
I definitely don't feel recharged after this weekend, for example -- but I'm not sure what I could've/should've done differently to get the rest I needed. THAT in itself is very frustrating to me.
I'm running on empty today.
Lord, please fill me up and help me to keep my focus on you during these seasons of frustration. Make me a better servant of you, and be my joy in spite of my circumstances.
I feel... needy.
(Shudder)
I HATE feeling needy.
Lately, I'm frustrated that my husband can't read my mind, and then doubly frustrated that I don't know how to articulate my needs to him. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones (another thing that I hate to admit) but by the end of the day I am completely spent and completely sore.
There is a countdown that is steadily ticking down until June, and that countdown affects Greg and me both in very powerful ways, but in very different ways.
Once this baby is in the world, our lives are going to change, and I'm eager to prepare for motherhood by nesting. I can't seem to get the apartment quite get clean enough or organized enough for my taste and it's frustrating that I can't get ahead of the mess. Plus, I'm eager to purge to make room for our new little one, yet purging takes time, and meanwhile all my eyes see are the piles of clutter that I'm so tired of looking at.
Greg on the other hand, is working extra hard lately outside our home at his many jobs/gigs as he prepares to provide for our family in new ways once we become a family of three. He's made such progress in his chosen career path, all while still juggling a customer service job on the side (something we all know can wear on one's very soul depending on the kinds of people that come in on any given day).
At times it feels like we're holding our breath as we wait to see what God has for him next. Seems like stepping out in faith requires a tightrope with no net. I'm so proud of Greg for putting himself out there -- meanwhile, it's been difficult for me to realize that my arms don't reach high enough to help Greg across myself. I too have to surrender that intense walk to God as I am reserved to call up encouragement from my place on the ground and simply trust. Silently standing by as we manage our hopes and expectations with each shaky step.
I'm trying to be mindful of all those changes we're both facing mentally/emotionally, while also coping with my ever evolving physical state and the unique discomforts and aches that the evening tends to bring.
A huge failing of mine appears to be that I can't quite bring enough patience, understanding, or sensitivity to the table when I'm lost in one of these funks. I want so much to be a good helper, but I feel like I'm on an endless treadmill and though my efforts are exhaustive I still can't get ahead the way I want to.
I definitely don't feel recharged after this weekend, for example -- but I'm not sure what I could've/should've done differently to get the rest I needed. THAT in itself is very frustrating to me.
I'm running on empty today.
Lord, please fill me up and help me to keep my focus on you during these seasons of frustration. Make me a better servant of you, and be my joy in spite of my circumstances.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Weekend in Review
This weekend we lost an hour of sleep BUT gained an hour of sunshine. Who am I to complain about that?
Friday evening I was sort of restless, and I think I carried my crankiness into Saturday morning as well. However, as of 10am Saturday afternoon, I was busy filming my first cameo appearance in a Rigor Tortoise video, and my mood did a complete 180.
That’s right! My husband and his beloved comedy team asked me to play a role in one of their video sketches! (They needed a pregnant woman.)
Regardless of their reason for extending a role to me, I was honored to be asked to play with them. It was a lot of fun to hang out with those jokers on set. I’ll be sure to post the sketch here once it’s edited and available for viewing.
Then I went to a last minute lunch with my beautiful friend, Emily. Sometimes life feels so scheduled, but this was a completely organic: "Hey, what are you doing -- want to grab lunch?" followed by an "Oh sure, be there in 30 minutes!" You can't beat those moments!
Saturday night felt like a page out of classic Greg&Beth history. Back when Greg and I were just (best)friends -- before dating was even an option -- we used to have these amazing conversations as the sun slipped away on Sunday evenings. It's no surprise that these conversations nurtured our friendship until it grew into something much more and sprouted a loving marriage. (I'm not meaning to imply that Greg and I don't have deep conversations now that we're married, we still have great talks as our relationship evolves.) Saturday night, however, we relived some of what led us to this point and I just LOVED the conversation that followed.
Friday evening I was sort of restless, and I think I carried my crankiness into Saturday morning as well. However, as of 10am Saturday afternoon, I was busy filming my first cameo appearance in a Rigor Tortoise video, and my mood did a complete 180.
That’s right! My husband and his beloved comedy team asked me to play a role in one of their video sketches! (They needed a pregnant woman.)
Regardless of their reason for extending a role to me, I was honored to be asked to play with them. It was a lot of fun to hang out with those jokers on set. I’ll be sure to post the sketch here once it’s edited and available for viewing.
Then I went to a last minute lunch with my beautiful friend, Emily. Sometimes life feels so scheduled, but this was a completely organic: "Hey, what are you doing -- want to grab lunch?" followed by an "Oh sure, be there in 30 minutes!" You can't beat those moments!
Saturday night felt like a page out of classic Greg&Beth history. Back when Greg and I were just (best)friends -- before dating was even an option -- we used to have these amazing conversations as the sun slipped away on Sunday evenings. It's no surprise that these conversations nurtured our friendship until it grew into something much more and sprouted a loving marriage. (I'm not meaning to imply that Greg and I don't have deep conversations now that we're married, we still have great talks as our relationship evolves.) Saturday night, however, we relived some of what led us to this point and I just LOVED the conversation that followed.
Greg led worship at church this Sunday, so after I attended the first service I decided to wander around the Hollywood farmers market until I figured out what to make for dinner. I landed on this lovely recipe, and it was a very good choice. I've made it before, and it was just as good this time around even though last night I didn't make the roasted grapes topping.
An army of honey bears from the farmers market!
I'd be lying if I didn't say that I sort of wanted my hour back once this Monday morning creeped up, but overall it was a wonderful weekend and I'm definitely thankful that I get to leave work with the sun still shining outside instead of driving home in the dark!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Feeling good
Last night, Greg and I got to hang out with an awesome couple from church at their beautiful home that they opened to us.
This particular couple is one that Greg and I both admire, yes -- but they're also stinkin' fun to be around. We laughed a lot over a delicious dinner, and we eagerly listened to nuggets of wisdom they shared with us through stories of their own experiences in parenting. One by one, each of their two sweet daughters fell asleep and before we knew it, it was suddenly 10pm and time for Greg and me to head home.
Somewhere between the second helping of Greg's famous mac & cheese, and the delicious cup of decaf french pressed coffee that Danica served me with dessert, I realized that I was smack dab in the middle of "the good ol' days."
Greg and I are living very rich these days. Not so much financially rich, although I would definitely say that we are provided for, but our abundance is in our friends, our communities, our families... There is something so bounteous about this season in our lives, and it humbles me to my very core.
It hit me last night around Steve and Danica's dining room table that these good ol' days are good for a reason. God himself is so good, and through these tangible examples of his abundance in my own life, I'm able to catch a glimpse of his goodness.
I think that the good ol' days can be lived in the present too -- but it's often through hindsight that I'm able to recognize what exactly it was that made a certain span of time so special. I know that in 10 years I'll be able to look back on this time and appreciate even more the way that God is moving in my life, the same way I'm able to look back on the past ten years and recognize his grace and goodness in my twenties.
Last night, life was good because of the precious fellowship with a family that we enjoy and value.
And because there was enough food for us all to have more of, and still take home leftovers.
And because we got to be around children that make our hearts swell with excitement that we too get to have a kid like that in the near future.
And because on the drive home, Greg held my hand and named specific ways he was going to take care of me during our transition into parenthood, humbling me even further that I ended up with such a catch who loves me as well as he does. And because as I squeezed his hand back and received his loving promises, I was reminded of how sweet this season of just the two of us has been. We're eager to add to our son to our family, but I will savor the next few months when I have Greg all to myself.
Last night was good because God is good, and last night I took the time to recognize his goodness.
This particular couple is one that Greg and I both admire, yes -- but they're also stinkin' fun to be around. We laughed a lot over a delicious dinner, and we eagerly listened to nuggets of wisdom they shared with us through stories of their own experiences in parenting. One by one, each of their two sweet daughters fell asleep and before we knew it, it was suddenly 10pm and time for Greg and me to head home.
Somewhere between the second helping of Greg's famous mac & cheese, and the delicious cup of decaf french pressed coffee that Danica served me with dessert, I realized that I was smack dab in the middle of "the good ol' days."
Greg and I are living very rich these days. Not so much financially rich, although I would definitely say that we are provided for, but our abundance is in our friends, our communities, our families... There is something so bounteous about this season in our lives, and it humbles me to my very core.
It hit me last night around Steve and Danica's dining room table that these good ol' days are good for a reason. God himself is so good, and through these tangible examples of his abundance in my own life, I'm able to catch a glimpse of his goodness.
I think that the good ol' days can be lived in the present too -- but it's often through hindsight that I'm able to recognize what exactly it was that made a certain span of time so special. I know that in 10 years I'll be able to look back on this time and appreciate even more the way that God is moving in my life, the same way I'm able to look back on the past ten years and recognize his grace and goodness in my twenties.
Last night, life was good because of the precious fellowship with a family that we enjoy and value.
And because there was enough food for us all to have more of, and still take home leftovers.
And because we got to be around children that make our hearts swell with excitement that we too get to have a kid like that in the near future.
And because on the drive home, Greg held my hand and named specific ways he was going to take care of me during our transition into parenthood, humbling me even further that I ended up with such a catch who loves me as well as he does. And because as I squeezed his hand back and received his loving promises, I was reminded of how sweet this season of just the two of us has been. We're eager to add to our son to our family, but I will savor the next few months when I have Greg all to myself.
Last night was good because God is good, and last night I took the time to recognize his goodness.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
6 months indeed!
Tonight, I would love to have a glass of wine with dinner. It's just been one of those days, and a glass of wine sounds great.*
I am 6 months preggers this week, and -- right on cue -- this is the week that I seem to be the most uncomfortable so far. It's more difficult for me to pick things up when I drop them on the floor a million times (like I do), plus my upper back hurts when I sit too long, and my lower back hurts when I stand too long, and my hips hurt when I lay down too long. By the end of the day all I want is for Greg to roll a tennis ball all over my shoulders and spine to get the aches out.
It's really not too terribly bad though, I don't mean to complain -- it's just been a long day and I have a hankering to unwind in ways that are relaxing to pre-preggers-Bethers. Wine, yes, but also a super hot bath** sounds nice (also a no no unless I want to overcook the bun that's in my oven).
In the meantime, I will appease myself with cherry juice served in a wine glass, and the latest episode of The Bachelor (busted.)***
In other news, I signed us up for birthing classes today, and I'm very eager to get started. With each little kick this baby feels more and more real to me and I'm so excited to meet him in a few more months.
Greg made my heart melt this weekend when he told me that he's going to take good care of me in those first few weeks after our son is on the scene. He plans on helping with the baby, of course, but this weekend he told me that his main priority will be taking care of me. Until he mentioned it, I hadn't really thought about the healing my own body will have to go through after the birth. It's nice to have Greg on my team. I am loved and loved well.
*I know that these days doctors are saying that it's completely safe to have a little bit of wine while pregnant, but I'm a stickler for staying non-alcoholic. Maybe it's because it's my first baby and I'm worried about breaking him or poisoning him or something. I'll just whine about my lack of wine instead!
** I also know that baths are not illegal, but I like baths reeeeeaaaaalllly hot because I like to bring a book and stay in there for hours. The baths I'm allowed to have (under 100 degrees) feel cold to me too quickly, and if I'm going to have to hoist my big-bellied-self out of the tub at some point then the bath would have to be worth the effort.
***Yep. I watch that show now. I hate that I watch it too. I don't agree with any part of the show, from the concept to the episodes themselves, but I've discovered that streaming episodes of mindless reality TV (hello, real housewives!) makes cleaning the kitchen far more entertaining.
PS: Bachelor Ben is an idiot.
I am 6 months preggers this week, and -- right on cue -- this is the week that I seem to be the most uncomfortable so far. It's more difficult for me to pick things up when I drop them on the floor a million times (like I do), plus my upper back hurts when I sit too long, and my lower back hurts when I stand too long, and my hips hurt when I lay down too long. By the end of the day all I want is for Greg to roll a tennis ball all over my shoulders and spine to get the aches out.
It's really not too terribly bad though, I don't mean to complain -- it's just been a long day and I have a hankering to unwind in ways that are relaxing to pre-preggers-Bethers. Wine, yes, but also a super hot bath** sounds nice (also a no no unless I want to overcook the bun that's in my oven).
In the meantime, I will appease myself with cherry juice served in a wine glass, and the latest episode of The Bachelor (busted.)***
In other news, I signed us up for birthing classes today, and I'm very eager to get started. With each little kick this baby feels more and more real to me and I'm so excited to meet him in a few more months.
Greg made my heart melt this weekend when he told me that he's going to take good care of me in those first few weeks after our son is on the scene. He plans on helping with the baby, of course, but this weekend he told me that his main priority will be taking care of me. Until he mentioned it, I hadn't really thought about the healing my own body will have to go through after the birth. It's nice to have Greg on my team. I am loved and loved well.
*I know that these days doctors are saying that it's completely safe to have a little bit of wine while pregnant, but I'm a stickler for staying non-alcoholic. Maybe it's because it's my first baby and I'm worried about breaking him or poisoning him or something. I'll just whine about my lack of wine instead!
** I also know that baths are not illegal, but I like baths reeeeeaaaaalllly hot because I like to bring a book and stay in there for hours. The baths I'm allowed to have (under 100 degrees) feel cold to me too quickly, and if I'm going to have to hoist my big-bellied-self out of the tub at some point then the bath would have to be worth the effort.
***Yep. I watch that show now. I hate that I watch it too. I don't agree with any part of the show, from the concept to the episodes themselves, but I've discovered that streaming episodes of mindless reality TV (hello, real housewives!) makes cleaning the kitchen far more entertaining.
PS: Bachelor Ben is an idiot.
Friday, March 2, 2012
This little light of mine
Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
~Psalm 119:105
Whenever I hear the above verse, for some reason I tend to picture myself as a Little Red Riding Hood type, all alone in a dark scary wood with a thin dirt path surrounded by branches and brambles.
I know that grandmother's house is at the end of the path, but I'm also very aware of the dangers in the dark woods. Wolves love little girls just as much as baskets full of sweets, and dressed all in red, I am a walking picnic.
How I long at times for a super-charged-high-powered flashlight to cut through the darkness and offer me a clear view! Especially when the path is overgrown, or seems to fork in multiple directions, or if I want to move ahead faster than my visibility allows. There are times when the path twists just so, or when I burn for even a hint of how much further I might have to go.
But regardless of the darkness or the danger, God has promised me light. While I may be greedy for more at times, he has promised me enough to light my way, and his promise is consistent. He will never leave me in the dark unattended. He will always provide enough for my next step to be firmly lit.
While I may not be able to see all the way to grandmother's house, the light God promises me will be enough to show me the glowing eyes of predators ahead, or potholes that might twist my ankles, and keep me focused on my path protecting me from distractions on either side. There are times when the clouds part just so, and the moonlight offers a silvery blessing of just enough light to confirm my direction.
Thank you, Lord, for your provision and your guidance. You promised me enough, and yet you still bless me with abundance. Please grant me patience and perspective on this path that you have me on. Amen.
**********************************************************************************
PS -- A belly shot for the end of my 23rd week!
Thank you, Jesus, for maternity jeans!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
High Tea
Recently, in honor of my sweet friend's birthday, a couple of my girlfriends and I went to a proper tea party at a fancy hotel - something I've never actually done before.
The three of us piled into Rhonda's car wearing our Sunday best and headed to Beverly Hills for some pampering like I've never experienced.
Once at the hotel, we were led to a pair of plush couches in front of a beautiful fireplace. A harpist dreamily played classic songs like "Moon River" and "The Way You Look Tonight." She eventually surprised us with "Happy Birthday" as well, which was really neat.
We chose our flavor of tea (all of us decided to try the caramel pear) and our server arrived with complimentary strawberries and whipped cream. Then he brought us tiered trays stacked with scones, tiny sandwiches, and lovely pastries.
I now understand why tea is more of an event than a meal. We lazily sipped and snacked over equally delicious conversation for about two hours. Our servers were out of sight, but seemed to pop up the moment our tea cups needed a refill.
It was such a lovely afternoon -- definitely a splurge, but what a way to be pampered!
The three of us piled into Rhonda's car wearing our Sunday best and headed to Beverly Hills for some pampering like I've never experienced.
Once at the hotel, we were led to a pair of plush couches in front of a beautiful fireplace. A harpist dreamily played classic songs like "Moon River" and "The Way You Look Tonight." She eventually surprised us with "Happy Birthday" as well, which was really neat.
We chose our flavor of tea (all of us decided to try the caramel pear) and our server arrived with complimentary strawberries and whipped cream. Then he brought us tiered trays stacked with scones, tiny sandwiches, and lovely pastries.
Tannis and Rhonda - the birthday girl!
(I know there is a bit of a glare since the window was spilling light behind them,
but I couldn't resist showing off my pretty friends!)
Check out our spread!
Yummers
I now understand why tea is more of an event than a meal. We lazily sipped and snacked over equally delicious conversation for about two hours. Our servers were out of sight, but seemed to pop up the moment our tea cups needed a refill.
It was such a lovely afternoon -- definitely a splurge, but what a way to be pampered!
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